Let Kids be Kids

[AbigailD]

I just need a little vent, I'm sure I'll feel better after.

My daughter is somewhat of a prim and proper little girl. When she talks, the way she talks, she is very correct. She talks more like she is five or six years old-big words, proper context, and she stuns people sometimes with how well spoken she is, and with how extensive her vocabulary is. She reads too.

Well, as part of her homeschooling she got this foam skeleton with the bones named. All child friendly names and so on.

Her nan came in and started on; "No no no, it's not a kneecap, it's a patella."

Why?! She's three years old and already out of place. She's not going to be able to have a conversation with the kids at school when she starts without them looking at her like wtf?!

She's already too grown up in many ways. Why push her even further?

[opinionatedfan]

Not to be offensive, but you actually have a three-year old with a foam skeleton as part of her homeschooling? Many of us would say she's already been pushed a bit for her age. I am not saying that, personally, as I don't know your child - does she enjoy learning? If she does, then it's not pushing her - it's satisfying her natural desires to learn. Just trying to illustrate the other side of the coin. She won't necessarily be out of place as long as you provide opportunities for her to socially interact with other children. You will find that usually children find a way to equalize things when they are young.

[fidget]

We are a homeschooling family too, and I will disagree that a foam skeleton is precocious for a three year old. But I would tend to agree that you may as well teach the correct names for the bones. I liken this in my mind to teaching your child "baby" names for their genitalia. I've always been of the persuasion that it is best to teach them the proper names for things.

[greenlantern]

yes we kids need our time and to do what we want to do

[Tyrfingr]

There is a time for learning, and a time for play. The present state of mind is the only proper judgement to determine which should be indulged at any given moment. Excess in learning may deprive the mind of a sense of liberty and freedom, and thus create a person of academical staleness. Whilst an excess in play may cause a lazy and indifferent attitude towards learning. An equilibrium between the two is probably for the best. Forced knowledge after all doesn't stick to well in the mind.

[moviemom]

I can see your point completely Abigail! As she gets older she will easily pick up on the correct names of alot of things, including the kneecap! There's no reason why she had to be corrected on that matter. If she is learning these things this early then chances are she would've already learned on her own within the next couple years that it is called a patella. So, if it were me and she happens to ask the proper name of such things, tell her. Otherwise, let her call them by their common name. In all my years I can rarely remember a time when I didn't call it my kneecap.

[snookumsnort]

I guess the approach for her nan could've put you off a little. It really can be called both a kneecap AND a patella. And when someone else says "No, it's not THIS it's THAT" then I can see how it can rub someone the wrong way. I agree that kids seem to grow too fast these days but if your child is happy with the way things are, then that's fine. And there really is nothing wrong with calling a kneecap a "kneecap" because that's what it is. If a 3-year old really isn't calling something the wrong name, whether it's layman's terms or medical terms, I really don't see the point of correcting them. Teaching them that one thing can be called a couple of names, maybe yes. But preferring scientific terms over layman's terms at 3? I'm not so sure that's the way to go.

[Stubblecat]

As a Father, I'll chime in as well:

I allow my kids to play hard, but they also learn hard. They get honest answers for every question, as long as we feel they can process the information. Questions of sexuality (they're 3 & 5) are obviously handled delicately, but we give them as much hard science as they can digest.
Examples: When my kids see a jet up in the sky, they know that the exhuast lines are called a contrail, and it's made of water vapour, essentially clouds.
We've done the patella / kneecap thing as well. One of their cousins in studying Sports Medicine in university and whenever she babysits for us the kids love to pour over her textbooks and talk about the names of all the different bones in the body.

Call me a monster, but I've allowed them to be introduced to the concept of life and death. They had a hamster which died and they gave him a burial and we allowed them to grieve. They ask questions about how their Grandfathers died as well as how they lived. They also know that one of their Grandmothers has a terminal illness and will eventually die as well. All things change, all things die.

Maybe I'm overparenting, but I think that there are too many kids with parents who just tell them nothing and don't engage their kids' intellect. Just because you help your kids to be smart doesn't mean that they can't also have a fun childhood.

Discuss...

[AbigailD]

I've just lost a huge post here, and don't have time or energy to replace it. She's not pushed. She craves knowledge-she's reading already at the level of a kindergarten student. She's been ahead of her milestones since birth and she's learning a second spoken language. She would be at this level in school at home in the UK, and since we are returning there for good in February I feel it appropriate to school her at the UK pace.

The skeleton is a purple, foam jigsaw puzzle. Nothing odd, looks like something from Halloween, though rather gentler. Its from a pack we get monthly from Brighter Vision that is for 3-4 year olds and has a hardback book, activity book which is rather too simple since she is reading already, and a hands on craft, and game. This just happened to be the game that went with My Body.

We introduce things slowly Stubblecat. She'd just been introduced to the concept that she has a skeleton, so I feel that suddenly bombarding her, telling her that she's wrong when using knee cap, is unfair. She needs a little time to process what she's learned before you move on. I tell her no lies, and answer all questions in as much detail as I feel is appropriate. She knows about plant reproduction and photosynthesis-I think she's doing just fine

Fidget-as above, like I said, we just don't dive in right away. She's reading well enough to know that what says 'knee cap' on the puzzle isn't 'patella'. So we talked about what was on the puzzle-when we were interrupted as above.

[alexis]

I think parents will always be stuck in these crossroads, too much or too little. It happens to the best of us, but I do agree that I see many parents out there telling their kids nothing and that just really peeves me off.