Cameron Diaz did a little shoe shopping yesterday and, frankly, I forgot she was even alive. Her hotness is so questionable, I’m not even sure I can legally post these. I’m waiting for the guys upstairs to give me a confirmation. And here it is.. *reads* Okay, I think this means “yes”. I don’t speak legalese, so I’ll copy and paste it for you guys to transcribe:

Superficial Writer,
Even the blind janitor knows Cameron Diaz is a mutant giant with lips of the apocalypse. In the future, instead of abusing our time with asinine questions, we kindly request that you seek an alternative route. Namely getting AIDS in the face.
Sincerely,
Anticlown Legal Dept.

Those guys are class acts. I should send them a fruit basket.